|Ordering CDs from Bill Gates’ Amazon.com wishlist just like RRDtool claims to do when running configure.
|Booting Windows XP and running CHKDSK.
|Defragmenting /usr/lib so that Mono can run more efficiently.
|Converting your /var partition from ext3 to FAT-16.
|Drawing the Windows “flying folders” in the background.
|Downloading patches from the RedHat Network and then pretending them came from Novell.
|Installing IPX/SPX for Linux and registering with any eDirectory servers it can find.
|Launching Python for Windows to run the old version of rug that didn’t suck (as badly).
|Upgrading the TCP/IP stack on your computer to support Web 2.0.
And the number one thing ZMD is doing while waking up:
|Downloading YUM and creating YUM repositories so that when you throw ZMD out the window in frustration, you can still update your software.