||Ordering CDs from Bill Gates’ Amazon.com wishlist just like RRDtool claims to do when running configure.
||Booting Windows XP and running CHKDSK.
||Defragmenting /usr/lib so that Mono can run more efficiently.
||Converting your /var partition from ext3 to FAT-16.
||Drawing the Windows “flying folders” in the background.
||Downloading patches from the RedHat Network and then pretending them came from Novell.
||Installing IPX/SPX for Linux and registering with any eDirectory servers it can find.
||Launching Python for Windows to run the old version of rug that didn’t suck (as badly).
||Upgrading the TCP/IP stack on your computer to support Web 2.0.
And the number one thing ZMD is doing while waking up:
||Downloading YUM and creating YUM repositories so that when you throw ZMD out the window in frustration, you can still update your software.