in Linux

Top 10 Things That ZMD Is Doing While “Waking Up”

10 Ordering CDs from Bill Gates’ Amazon.com wishlist just like RRDtool claims to do when running configure.
9 Booting Windows XP and running CHKDSK.
8 Defragmenting /usr/lib so that Mono can run more efficiently.
7 Converting your /var partition from ext3 to FAT-16.
6 Drawing the Windows “flying folders” in the background.
5 Downloading patches from the RedHat Network and then pretending them came from Novell.
4 Installing IPX/SPX for Linux and registering with any eDirectory servers it can find.
3 Launching Python for Windows to run the old version of rug that didn’t suck (as badly).
2 Upgrading the TCP/IP stack on your computer to support Web 2.0.

And the number one thing ZMD is doing while waking up:

1 Downloading YUM and creating YUM repositories so that when you throw ZMD out the window in frustration, you can still update your software.